


3..2..1...Take off!

by BirbandBairn (Shinpoko)



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: A Hat in Time AU, Adoptive family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Family Feels, Gen, The Conductor tries to be a good single parent, birb and bairn blog stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 18:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18970474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinpoko/pseuds/BirbandBairn
Summary: Leia just wants to study the stars! Unfortunately, her dad is the Conductor and hates just about everything connected to a certain moon penguin. To be fair Grooves isn't fond of him either. When everyone talks bad about one another and no one listens, all a little bird can do is keep it all in, right?





	3..2..1...Take off!

**Author's Note:**

> An old story I wrote almost year ago. I was debating on whether or not to post it since it takes place a bit farther in future from the current story I'm writing right now but whatever. It's a long one shot story that I wrote during a time that I needed a distraction and also my first real attempt at fan fiction. This does reference stuff that happened in Redd and events that happen in my comic but it should be fine as just a stand alone.  
> For those new to the Original Characters and story:  
> This particular story takes place a good 20 years before the start of the game.  
> Leia is the Conductor's adoptive daughter (she's actually his niece but does not know this) and is pretty much a ball of chaos.  
> Joan is a set designer working for DJ Grooves while working on their masters in library science (this is actually the first story they've appeared in). While not mentioned in this story, they are an Adélie penguin.  
> Les (mentioned in passing) is the chief on the Owl Express and one of the few owls who gets away with messing with any of the Conductor's family as he is a long time "friend of the family"

Leia quietly pushed open her door and tiptoed down the hall. Holding her breath, she carefully climbed the stairs leading to the attic. She carefully lifted herself over the squeaky final step and onto the landing.

Choosing her steps carefully, she moved down the creaky wooden corridor to the door that opened to the attic. If she was caught, she knew the consequences would be dire. One final step and she was in front of the door.

Her hands shook as she reached for the door; her mouth dry.

The knob turned underneath Leia's hand as the door opened toward her and smacked her right in the beak. The Conductor, who had been stepping through the door with a stack of papers under one arm, jumped and dropped the papers.

"LEIA?! What are ye doing up? It's past 1 am!"

"N-nothin! Ah swear!" Leia yelped, rubbing her beak.

The Conductor gave Leia a Look. "Nothing, eh?" Leia squirmed. 

"Nnnngggh, OK! Ah just wanted to see the full moon tanight! But that's all! And Ah wasn't gonna look fer very long and it was gonna be right over head at 1:30 am and and..."

Leia looked down at her feet. "Ah'm in trouble aren't Ah?"

The Conductor sighed. "Well, yes, yer not supposed tae be up past 9 pm. We've talked about this. And ye know how Ah feel about you and all that space nonsense."

Leia winced.

"But I love space!" She wanted to say. But she knew just how well that would turn out. Her dad was many things and petty about all the small things involving a certain moon penguin was one of them.

"Sorry Dad," Leia replied while staring down at her feet.

"Donna worry yer head about it. Just give me a hand getting these papers cleaned up and downstairs," the Conductor bent down to gather up the pages. 

"And don't worry about getting punished, it's not like ye blew anything up this time."

His head shot up, "you weren't planning on doing anything like that, were you?”

"No! Ah just wanted to look at the moon!"

"Right. None of that though, you need sleep. It ain't healthy fer an owl yer age tae be up this late."

Leia stared blankly at the Conductor. "...Really Dad."

"You know what Ah mean. Now bed."

 

The next morning seemed to drag on. Leia received a quick talking to before getting whisked away to school where she spent most of her first period staring blankly at her math textbook as her teacher droned on about multiplication. Since her Uncle Greg had been keen on teaching her the finer points of math since before she would properly write, the lessons were unimaginably dull.

She usually spent the time reading different books on space or working ahead in her science book but ever since The Incident, she was forced to sit in the front row.

This, Leia thought, should be considered a form of cruel punishment. She couldn't do anything while sitting in the front, not work on other projects, not read or sleep, not even work ahead in math. She had assumed she'd at least been given the freedom to do that but no, THAT wasn't allowed either. THAT was called 'not paying attention.'

And calling attention to the fact that you already know the material was called being a "liar" and a "cheat" and involved getting sent to detention when proving the teacher wrong.

And her dad wondered why she skipped school so often.

Leia tried to grin and bear it. She really didn't want to change schools again.

She made it to the end of first period before giving up. The teacher had handed back everyone's tests from the previous week and had marked her's down for apparently no reason.

Well, no reason that anyone other than Leia would know about.

With a heavy sigh, Leia walked up to the frumpy math teacher's desk to ask why she was marked down, got the answer she expected, ie. you obviously cheated and you're lucky you're not in more trouble, almost got in another yelling match with the teacher before giving up and walking out of the classroom.

Once in the hallway, Leia made her way to the bathroom, forced opened one of the windows, slipped out onto the school lawn, snuck past the school staff patrolling the grounds, climbed the fence and caught the city bus heading out towards Dead Bird Studios.

While her dad would most definitely send her back to school, Leia knew that the moon penguins would be cool if she wanted to hang around. Well, as long as Mr. Grooves didn't catch her.

Leia shook her head. Sometimes Mr. Grooves was just as bad as her dad when it came to stuff like school and rules. It wasn't fair, wasn't he supposed to be the opposite of her dad?

What was the point of being friends with your dad's rival when he's just gonna act like a second dad? Well, OK, she liked having someone else to talk to when her dad became too much. Someone who dealt with him as much as she did. It was nice. And he knew about space. That was a plus.

As Leia kicked opened one of the outside vents attached to the studio, she could hear the daily squabble echoing throughout the building. Rolling her eyes, Leia made her way through the building's ventilation system and into the depths of the studio. She unconsciously ducked and dodged the various security cameras, having long memorized the various blind spots and camera movements before arriving at the moon penguins' "secret" breakroom.

It was an old cafe set from the previous studio's owner that the various express owls and moon penguins had rigged up with plumbing and electricity. The set was cozy and now sported a few well used couches and a terrifying microwave. The whole area was a huge fire hazard. It was buried behind quite a few boxes of old props and boxes of what Leia assumed were colored fish and you had to know just the right way to fall to get in. The only way to get out was through an old service elevator duct that lead to the bottom floor of the studio.

Leia loved it. She was pretty sure her Dad and Mr. Grooves didn't know about it and the penguins were always fine with letting her hang out there.

Mostly fine, anyway.

Leia landed on the ground with a small thud. "Oof! Ah really need to put somethin soft there."

"Oh? Is that yous, little kid?" a voice called out from the set.

"Joan! How are you today!" Leia replied in earnest. She got up and ran over to one of the large couches. A small penguin in a suit and tie was lounging back on the couch, pen in their flipper, hat and sunglasses off to the side.

"I'm fine but what are you doing here kid? Don't you have school?" Joan put down their pen and gave Leia a hug.

"Pfft, school. School is full of jerks," Leia replied while squeezing Joan as hard as she could.

"Oof, yer gonna squeeze my guts out kid. Hmm, let me guess, that math teacher up to her bad habits again?"

Leia nodded and let go of Joan. "Ah don't know what Ah did to make them think that Ah'm some sort of cheatin cheater!"

"Eh, sounds like that teacher's just a rotten apple. Next time you make one of those goo thingamajigs, stick it in her car."

"Pffft hahaha! Yeah, Ah should!"

"And, yous should film it and show it to me, cause that's got to be hilarious!"

"But Joan! That's leaving evidence!" "Kid, how many kids can make one of those goo things? You're already leavin evidence!"

"That's... sort of true..."

Joan's radio let out a loud _Bzztttt_ and Groove's voice echoed throughout the small room. "Joan, Darlin, where are you? Ah need those set designs on stage 3."

Joan picked up their radio, "On my way Boss. Be there in 5."

They turned back to Leia, "feel free to hang out here per usual. If any penguin gives you gruff, tell 'um I said yous could and they can take it up with me."

Leia gave Joan a small smile, "yeah, sure. Thank you Joan." "No worries Kid. I know how it is. You know where the books and bathroom are. See ya!" With that, Joan slid down the cable in the elevator shaft and disappeared out of sight.

Left alone in the breakroom, Leia pulled a few of the pillows off several of the couches and made herself a small pillow nest in the corner in the room. She dug around in one of the cabinets by the sinks to find a cup and lifted up one of the floorboards to grab one of the books from the stash kept by the various birds who used the breakroom. 

Leia sighed. Books were so much better than dealing with school. You got to learn at your own pace and could whatever you wanted with the information. There wasn’t anything in them that said you weren’t allowed to skip ahead or work on other stuff. And you could ignore the stuff that said “don’t do at home” with little to no repercussions as long as you were careful. Or had a fire extinguisher nearby.

Leia poured herself a drink from one of the open containers of bug juice in the mini fridge before settling down to read about the colonization of the moon and the creation of the first penguin zoo. The book was one of Joan’s. They were working on their final research project for their college class. The whole story was fascinating, even if Leia had to look up one or two of the really big words.

Hours passed like several quarts of bug juice through a ten year old’s body. Leia was totally enraptured in the story of the rise to power of the great revolutionary and future first leader of the moon penguins, Rockhopper, when she heard a loud thump of someone arriving. “I swear one of these days I’m putting something soft down here. What a pain.”

Leia dived underneath the pillows. She could recognize that voice from anywhere. “Mr. Grooves! Why is he here?” She muttered to herself as she burrowed deeper into her pillow nest. 

She could hear the loud clacks of his platform shoes on the floor as he walked around the small room. Her heart beating uncomfortably loud in her ears. The footsteps stopped in front of her nest. 

She could hear him grumbling to himself: “What a mess. I told those penguin if they wanted to use this place as a break room, they’d have to clean up after themselves!”

Leia tried her best not to move but could feel herself shaking uncontrollably.

“Aaand the pillows are moving. Great. Probably rats.”

Leia felt the weight of the pillows rise.

“!?” Grooves stepped back, dropping the pillow. He took a second to regain his composer before speaking again, this time with his usual flamboyant tones. “Why Darling! What are you doing here? Breaking in again?” He looked around at the empty cartons of bug juice. “Ah, skipping school again, Ah take it?”

Leia sat up, still shaking slightly. She didn’t like lying to Mr. Grooves. “Y-yeah, Ah couldn’t deal with one of the teachers there anymore so Ah left.”

Grooves sighed and shook his head. “Darling, you know you can’t just up and leave like that.”

“But, she’s always so UNFAIR!” 

Grooves put up his hands. “Darling, this is really not something you should be talking to me about. And I’m on a tight schedule as it is so I can’t just drop everything and help you with your problem.”

Leia hung her head. “So you’re gonna turn me over to my Dad, huh?”

“Oh no, Darling. I’ve had my fill of that bird for the day and if I have to hear one more word about how I’m the reason YOU misbehave, I’m gonna launch that bird to the moon the old fashion way.” Grooves was actually shaking with anger at this point, his usual calm demeanor all but gone and his flippers were clenched in fists. 

Leia couldn’t help but flinch back. 

“S-sorry. Ah just wanted to see the moon last night… Ah d-didn’t want t-to cause t-trouble,” she said, holding back tears.

“Ah, no no no DHARLIN, it’s nothing you did!” Grooves quickly. “Your father is, how do I put this? A very _trying_ bird to be around sometimes. There is nothing wrong with wanting to follow your passion. Just look at me!” Grooves smiled then grimaced, “and well, yes your father too.”

Rubbing her eyes, Leia smiled at Grooves. “Thanks Mr. Grooves.”

“Of course Darling, now if you will excuse me, I need to find the lost pages of the script I sent down to my set designer Joan. They had some very important notes on them.”

“Let me help! Ah’m good at finding things!”

“Er, just as long as nothing explodes this time, Darling…”

 

After spending the next few hours helping Grooves out with various tasks around the studio, and starting a few small fires by accident, Leia caught a ride with Joan home. 

“You sure you're gonna be alright, Kid?” Joan asked as they started up their small flying saucer. “Yer old man is bound to be pis- mad at yous for ditching school again.”

“Eh, Ah’ll figure it out. He won't be home for a few more hours at least. More than enough time to delete any school calls and get any missing assignments. Can you fly this over the canyon? Ooo, how fast can this go? You ever race this ship against other ships?” Leia prattled on, trying to get away from the subject of her dad. 

Leia looked out the window at the passing landscape, zoning out as Joan rattled out answers to her questions.The penguins had made their opinions to her very clear on what they thought of the Conductor and how he was taking care of her. It was all pretty harsh and sometimes, unwarranted. Kind of like how her dad's views on the penguins were pretty unfair too. And like how unfair her math teacher was. And just like her math teacher, it was pointless to try and talk to anyone about it.

Well, to her at least. And even if she did tell them how hearing those things about her dad was one big jerk or how the penguins who had become her friends were a bunch of degenerates who were filling her head with nonsense hurt so much sometimes she couldn’t stand it, well, it’d just end in a yelling match and she’d just end up in trouble or being told she was wrong. So why bother. Nothing would change.

Joan dropped Leia off at the end of her street. “Are you sure you don’t wanna be let off at the front of your house?”

“Best not, ye never know who’d be watching and Ah donna want ya tae get in even more trouble with me dad.”

“Fair enough Kid! See yous later!” Joan called as they shot up into the atmosphere.

Leia smiled and waved until she could no longer see the ship. After it was gone, her smiled faded and her body posture slumped down. She slowly walked home, kicking at loose stones in the street. 

“I wish they’d all just get along. And that dad would just let me study space. It’s just so big and awesome and there’s so much of it. UGH why is everything so stupid?!” She kicked a larger stone as hard as she could and sent it flying over the edge of the cliff near her house. 

“Why are grown ups such JERKS to one another?!” Another large stone hit a mailbox. 

“WHY ARE MY TEACHERS SUCH JERKS TO ME?!” This time, the large stone ricocheted off the fence surrounding her house and hit a car in the driveway, leave a clear silver chip in the black paint. 

“Aww eggs!” 

Leia ran over to the car. She didn’t recognize the licence plate but she did know the parking permit sticker in the window. Someone from the school was over.

“No no no no no no!” Leia ran up to the front door, pulling her keys from her pocket and ramming them into the lock. She threw open the door and bolted inside. 

“-and she’s been constantly leaving the school grounds without permission at least three out of five days of the week. We have called about this behaviour many times but we suspect that she must be deleting the messages before you receive them.”

“Aye, that does seem tae be the case. This is all rather troubling. Ah haven’t heard a word about any of this from Le- LEIA! There you are! Where have you been!?”

The Conductor stood up at the same time two other birds did. One of them was Leia’s math teacher, a rather frumpy old hen and the other was a tall crane, the bird she recognized as the principal of her school. 

They had been seated around the dining table, which was now covered with various papers. Some looked like some of Leia’s tests, others were her experiment notes and pictures of the goo incident. Then there were the ones that made her blood run cold. Pamphlets for 24 hour, seven days a week behavioural boarding schools.

_H-he’s sending me away?!_ Leia’s world began to spin. “W-What’s going on, Dad?”

“Well fer starters, you’ve been running off who knows where! What do-”

“NO! What’s going on with them?!” Leia pointed at the two other birds. “And with that?!” She moved her finger to the pamphlets. “A-are you sending me away?!”

“Leia,” The Conductor calmly spoke. “Calm down. Look, yer home and-”

The math teacher stood up, pointing her finger at Leia in rage.

“See! This is what I mean! The child is always overreacting. You simply cannot have a civil discussion with her without it being the end of the world. And when you try to correct her in anyway, you are the bad one. Simply unacceptable behaviour!” She spat.

“Mrs.Chordata please calm down. I’m sure we can all talk about this in a productive manner-” The principal started.

“I’M unacceptable?! You’re the one who keeps accusing me of cheating and of being a nuisance. You keep mocking me in class and putting me down in front of everyone. And I’m the UNACCEPTABLE ONE?! I think you just can’t stand that I’m SMARTER THAN YOU!” Leia yelled back at Mrs.Chordata. 

The Conductor, now clearly worried about Leia, moved over to her side. “Leia, lass, please stop yell-” 

“DID YOU HEAR THAT PRINCIPAL?! Did you hear what I have to deal with on a daily basis from that brat?! Oh you should have never let that trouble maker into the school. The only place for brats like her are reform schools.” Mrs. Chordata glared at Leia. “Which is where she SHOULD have been sent after what she did to our old classroom.”

The principal sighed, “Not this again, Mrs. Chordata.” She turned towards the Conductor, “As you can see, tensions are quite high right now between your daughter and some of the staff at the school-”

“That brat is a menace and should NOT be allowed around other kids! Everyone is terrified of her. Do the right thing and SEND HER AWAY!”

“MRS. CHORDATA, PLEASE.”

“They are not afraid of me.” Leia mumbled, head down with her arms at her side and her hands clenched in fists. 

“Hm? Eh, what did ye say Lass?” The Conductor put a hand on one of her shoulders. 

Leia’s head shot up, tears streaming down her face. “THEY’RE NOT AFRAID OF ME YOU PECK NECK!” She lunged forward but was caught by the Conductor. 

“THEY’RE AFRAID YOU’LL TARGET THEM INSTEAD!” 

Tears and snot mixed as she fought to get free. 

“YOU ALWAYS TARGET SOMEONE TAE PICK ON; TAE DEMEAN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE; I’M JUST THE ONLY ONE WHO FOUGHT BACK! NO ONE WILL TALK OR PLAY WITH ME CAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID YOU’LL TARGET THEM AS WELL! YOU STUPID PECK NECK!” Leia screamed. She slumped down into her dad’s arms as she gave up her struggle. “You stupid peck neck…” she sobbed.

“Oh lass... Leia…” The Conductor pulled her into a hug. He could feel the heavy sobs shaking Leia’s small body. His head shot up, myrrder in his eyes.

“YOU-” He started, hate dripping from every syllable. 

Mrs. Chordata was already on the defensive. “What did I say about making me into the bad guy? She does this in class all the time, making a fuss over imaginary things!”

“Imaginary?! Did that look _imaginary_ to you!?” The Conductor growled.

“Oh please. Those are crocodile tears. What do you expect from the child of an _actor_. There has not been a single day where she has not pulled some similar scene in class.” 

Mrs. Chordata straightened up and turned towards the principal. “Principal Gruidae, I’ve worked for over fifty years in education, you know my reputation. What this menace says is all lies. You can ask the other teachers about this nuisance, they-”

“Oh yer REALLY helpin’ yer case by insulting my Lass every time you mention her,” the Conductor interjected hotly. “Rrreeeelly makes ye sound like a professional.”

Mrs. Chordata glared at the Conductor, “This coming from the bird who did not even know the whereabouts of his daughter until five minutes ago.”

“Ah fail tae see how that relates tae you being a shi- bad teacher.”

“Well, Mr. Conductor. If I must spell it out to you, if you were not such a neglectful parent, your daughter would not be such a loud, unruly, nuisance of a child!”

The Conductor squeezed Leia tighter and through gritted teeth spoke. “Well, Mrs. Chordata, it seems tae me like yer intendin’ tae blame anyone but yerself fer how things turned out. Why don’tcha get yer head outta yer arse ‘nd actually use yer brain. Ye think Ah don’t know when my own daughter is genuinely upset? Ye think Ah would go ‘Ah yes, my lass is a terror on two legs and Ah’d gladly send her away’ just ‘cause ye showed me some wrongly graded papers and some of her research notes? So she has a tendency tae skip ahead in the directions when she shouldn’t resultin’ in a hole in a wall or two, she’s learnin! And punishing her for trying tae stand up fer herself? What is wrong with ye?! Ah should ban the whole lot of ye from me train fer life fer what ye put her through.”

At this point, Principal Gruidae stepped in, “I assure you we do not want that to be the case, Conductor. The whole reason I came here was to try and-”

“I see the daughter takes after the father; you are both loud and unruly. Simply disgraceful,” Mrs. Chordata spat.

“Get out of me house. NOW.”

Mrs. Chordata stomped out of the house and Principal Gruidae followed suit. Before closing the door, she turned and said, “I’m sorry for Mrs. Chordata’s behavior today. I deeply regret we couldn’t talk more. I’m sure Ms. Leia is a lovely child.”

The Conductor glared at Principal Gruidae in angry silence as she bowed her head slightly and quietly shut the door. A muffled argument wafted through the door but the Conductor didn’t give it a second thought. Leia was still hugging his body tightly, shaking slightly from crying so much. He lifted Leia up, and felt her move her arms around his neck and bury her head in his shoulder. 

He stood in the middle of the room, Leia in his arms. Silence engulfed the two, broken up by the occasional soft sob from Leia.

“Ahh, well, Ah guess ye don’t have tae go tae school tomorrow, ye can spend the day with me at the studio. That’s a plus, right? Haha,” he said awkwardly. 

Leia dug her face deeper into his shoulder. 

The Conductor sighed and rubbed her back. “Why didn't ye tell me about that peck neck of a teacher? Ah would have helped ye. Ye know that, right?”

Leia felt her face begin to burn with shame. She stayed silent. What could she say? That she felt that she should be able to deal with this on her own? That she was too ashamed of how powerless she had felt in the face of all of it? That she is _The Conductor’s_ daughter and should be able to take on anything and succeed, like he does?

“Leia? Come on Lass, give me somethin.”

“... Yer really not gonna send me away, right?”

“Nae Lass,” he paused for a moment, “Welllll, mayb- ACK!” The Conductor squawked as Leia tighten her grip around his neck. “Joking! Jokin Lass! Ah wouldn't send ye anywhere ye didn't want tae go!”

Leia scowled at the Conductor. “Yer comedic timing sucks.”

“Well, Ah cannae be the best at everything first try, Lass,” the Conductor chuckled. 

He leaned his head forward till his forehead was resting against Leia’s. “Ye ken, ye donna have tae either. Ye can mess up or get in trouble and ask me fer help. Ye donna have tae hide things from me.”

Leia closed her eyes. Several examples of things she had to hide from her dad to keep him from exploding with anger popped into her head. “...Sure Dad.”

“Leia,” the Conductor pulled his head back and gave Leia a look only a bird with no visible eyes could pull off.

“Dad,” Leia replied, returning his stare with one of her own. 

“Leia, please,” he pleaded.

Leia wiggled out of his arms, jumping down to the floor. She stood up and hugged her sides.

“...Dad, yer not.. Yer not the most easy tae talk tae bird in the world about certain things. Ah know ye try but..”

“Wait, is this about the silly space stuff last night? Ugh, Leia-”

“See! This is what Ah mean!” Leia threw her arms up in frustration. “Just because Mr. Grooves is _associated_ with space-”

“Leia,” the Conductor growled, “have ye been hang around Grooves and his band of degenerates-” 

“ARGH! DO YE NAE HEAR YERSELF!? Ye sound just like that peck neck of a teacher!”

“Wha- AH DO NOT! That teacher was talking out her arse! Ah ken from years of experience of working side by side with DJ Peck Neck tae ken what sort of nonsense and trash he’s spouting in yer direction! ”

Leia paused, dumbstruck. “REALLY DAD?!!?” She yelled.

“Leia! Stop yelling!” The Conductor yelled back. 

“ARGH! AH- Ah can’t deal with this anymore!” Leia took a step back from the Conductor. 

“Leia, calm down!” The Conductor took a step towards Leia as she took another step back.

“Just leave me alone, Dad!” Tears were welling up in her eyes again. She took another step back, moving slightly faster now. “This is why talking to ye or the principal or even Mr. Grooves is pointless!”

“Leia, please, calm down! Yer just a wee bit overwhelmed right now,” the Conductor’s voice was shaking with effort to keep his own anger from making its way into his voice. He kept his eyes on Leia as she edged her way towards the door, while also trying to close the distance she managed to accumulate between the two of them. 

“ARGH! Yer still not listening!” Leia yelled as she made a dash for the door.

“No ye DON’T!” The Conductor yelled as he dived for the bolting orange blur.

The two bodies collided in an explosion of yellow and orange feathers. The Conductor had slightly miscalculated the amount of force he needed and had sent them both crashing into the umbrella stand. Various unused and forgotten umbrellas fell around them as Leia fought to get out of the Conductor’s grip. 

“LETMEGOLETMEGOLETMEGO!” Leia screamed, kicking and punching anything she could reach. 

“Ah am not- OOF! Letting ye runoff who knows ACK where like this. Ye are staying put, Leia!” The Conductor snapped. 

Struggling with the thrashing ten year old, he managed to maneuver Leia up the stairs to her bedroom. He placed her on the floor, gripping one of her arms tightly with his left hand. As he reached for the doorknob, he felt teeth sink into his left arm. 

The Conductor could feel his anger reach its peak. The edges of his vision began to go white and his stomach felt like it was full of eels made of energy and pure, unfiltered anger. The sensation spread throughout his limbs and it felt like it would tear him apart if he didn’t _do_ something with it _right now_. He had to get Leia in her room so he could deal with all the pent up frustration and rage and not hurt her in the process.

The Conductor turned his head to look at Leia and his heart stopped. She stood frozen. Her eyes were wide in horror, her gaze fixated on the bleeding wound. She shook as she slowly met his gaze. 

“D-dad, A-ah-Ah-”

“Ack! No no no! Leia, Ah’m fine! Yer fine! Everything is fine!” The Conductor quickly reassured her, the anger he felt getting pushed behind worry that traumatic old memories might be resurfacing. He released his tight grip on Leia’s arm and got down on his knees to look Leia in the eyes. 

“Look, Leia, we’ll talk about, well, everything later. Fer right now, we’ll watch some TV, order out and not mention anything ye don’t want tae talk about, OK?”

Leia’s gaze kept going back to the Conductor’s still bleeding arm.

“Leia?” The Conductor’s voice started to crackle with worry.

But Leia was far away, her mind filled with the roar of wind and the grinding of metal against track. The smell of blood overwhelmed her and the bloody sight filled her vision. She was whisked away to a set of confusing and jumbled memories where the smells and the sense of anger everywhere were the only things she could recall clearly. 

The smell of blood became too overwhelming and her stomach began to churn. She threw up all the bug juice she had earlier before the enormous pressure of everything finally overcame her and darkness engulfed her.

 

 

“LEIA!” The Conductor screamed as the little bird collapsed. “No, no, no! Not again!”

He scooped Leia’s unconscious body off the floor. Pressing his fingers against her neck to check her pulse, he let out a sigh of relief when it turned out to be relatively normal.

Cradling her, he flung open the bedroom door and quickly made his way through the catastrophe that was Leia’s room. Various towers of books and forgotten projects created a spectacular city like landscape, with carefully planned paths that allowed for easy travel through the chaotic mess and various odds and ends littering the streets. Ignoring all that, the Conductor chose the direction with the least about of stuff in his way and barreled through the mess, making a mental note to help Leia with her cleaning when this was done with.

After finally getting to the bed, the Conductor carefully placed Leia down on her back and took off her vomit covered sweater. Rolling it into a ball and setting it aside, he then reached for Leia’s old baby blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. With the utmost care, he raised Leia’s legs up and placed several pillows underneath them. Having done all he could, The Conductor sat down beside Leia’s sleeping form to wait. 

Anger still boiled his blood. He tried to think of all the different ways he could get back at those poor excuses for education professionals but his mind kept swinging back to how he messed up again. Sure, he was rightfully pissed at the school and Grooves, though that was a more general anger, and he was truly upset that Leia had kept this hidden for so long, but most of the frustration and anger he felt right now was aimed directly at himself.

The Conductor rubbed his eyes. It had been a long day. Between issues at the studio and the breakdown of the train… what he wanted was several shots of scotch. 

Soft whimpers and the sound of the bedsheets shifting came from behind him. Turning around, he saw Leia curled up in a tight ball, eyes shut, fighting off whatever images where tormenting her in her dreams. 

The Conductor’s heart broke; whatever anger and frustration was left was completely overcome by the incessant need to keep his little ball of feathers and chaos safe. 

Leia whimpered again. Carefully, the Conductor placed a hand on her forehead and stroked it reassuringly.

… And perhaps part of that was trying to let go of some of his tightly held beliefs.

He glanced over at some of Leia’s experiments and notes; his eyes focusing on a half hidden star chart and map of the moon. A grimace crossed his face.

Somehow.

 

 

Deep in her nightmare, Leia could feel the rumbling of the train as it barreled along the tracks deep in her gut. She held her stomach as she crouched down, hiding from the blood soaked mish mash of feather, fur, and claws that hunted her throughout the train. She could hear it patrolling the corridors between the stacks of bags. Smoke covered the floor of the baggage area and as the dark monstrosity passed, the smell of smoke and blood mixed into an overpowering stench. 

Leia almost threw up as it passed. 

Once it had turned around a tower of suitcases, Leia moved as fast as possible to the door, opened and then slammed it shut behind her. Fumbling around in front of her, she managed to pull a chair from one of the surrounding tables and jammed it under the doorknob. With a heavy sigh of relief, she slumped down to the ground.

Only then did she have a chance to look around her surroundings.

The room looked like the top dining area of the train but wrong.Everything looked faded and worn out, like they had been in direct sunlight for hundreds of years. And instead of the stairs leading downward, there was a path leading out towards a sea of blue sand. 

Leia’s heart pounded in her ears. Her legs shook and her whole body felt the overwhelming need to be anywhere else. 

The blue sand began to creep up the path, with each wave inching closer to the faded wood.

Panicking without knowing why, Leia grabbed the chair keeping the door shut and tried to unjam the door.

The chair turned to sand in her hands and there was a loud thud at the door.

Leia jumped back as a second thud knocked the door off its hinges. The monster was coming through. She turned around. And the sea of sand was quickly overtaking the floor.

Climbing up on one of the tables, Leia waited for the monster to break through the door. There was nowhere to go now but maybe the sand would kill the monster before it would get her.

The loud rumbling of the train had mixed with the silky sound of the sand sea in an ever present subtle white noise which Leia had just only noticed how loud it really was. 

The sand now covered the floor and the small table Leia had sought refuge on was gently lifted up upon the waves of sand.

There was another crash and the broken monster exploded through the door, bits of wood and glass flying out and melting into the rising sand. It lifted its mangled head into the air; snorting in the air loudly. Exhaling slowly, the monster turned towards Leia and charged.

As soon as the mix of talons and claws hit the sand, the flesh and bone began to age rapidly. Before the beast was even half way to Leia’s table, more than half its body had turned to sand. Still it persisted; forcing itself along until it was just a head, madly biting at the air in front of it. 

Leia moved as far back as she dared as the head flung itself onto the table and watched in horror as the fur and feathers melted away. 

The head persisted in its attack even as it was reduced to its skull, which in itself was a horror to behold. It looked like three different types of skulls had been merged together; one feline, one larger bird and a smaller bird. In unison all three maws opened and let out a horrible screech as it launched itself at Leia. 

Leia covered her head as the skull bore down on her. Just as the whole skull was about to hit her, it dissolved, covering her with a light dusting of sand. 

Still frozen in place, Leia tried to breathe deeply. She promptly choked on the sand. 

“Pleh! Pppptttleph!” Leia flopped down on her back and closed her eyes. “Uuuuggghhhhhhhh, whhhhhhhhhyyyyyy????”

In the darkness, Leia could tell that the sound of the train was fading away and all she could hear was the silky sound of the sand sea. The soft rocking of her makeshift table told her that she was moving slowly. 

Opening her eyes slowly, Leia found herself staring at a ginormous, clear, cracked dome. A myriad of colors swirled outside black outlines of the destroyed buildings that surrounded the dome, following currents that collided and fought with one another before taking off in different directions. What looked like several lines of blue rope were attached along the inside of the dome, going from the bottom of the dome to the hole at the top. From the hole, more of the blue sand poured in slowly. 

Even though Leia saw this place every time she had one of these nightmares, it never ceased to amaze her. She also knew what happened next. 

Leia braced herself as the table began to crack and fall apart. Every part of this dream was terrible but this part was the absolute worst. There was nothing she could do but let herself fall into the sand.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t feel so real; like everybit of her body was being pulled apart in every direction extremely fast while also staying firmly in one place. And all while being drained of what felt of her entire lifetime all at once. 

The boat cracked and Leia plunged into the sand, sinking fast into the depths. 

_Ah well._ Leia thought as her body started to age rapidly. _At least Ah’ll wake up soon._

 

The Conductor hung up the phone. Thirty minutes till pizza. Good. What else could he do? He had scrubbed up the vomit from before, bandaged up the bite wound, cleaned Leia’s sweater, burned those pamphlets, picked up the umbrellas, and cussed those teachers out every way he could think of while doing all of it. 

Walking back up the stairs, he scratched at his face nervously. Leia still hadn’t woken up. If she stayed asleep any longer, he’d have to call the hospital. Again. 

The Conductor winced. He didn’t want to deal with the hospital staff right now. Especially the doctor. There was some pain that he just didn’t want to deal with.

His heart jumped when he saw Leia’s door open. 

“Leia?” He called out cautiously as he approached the open door. “Lass? Er, munchkin? Umm, sweetheart? Apple of me eye? Other cutesy nicknames Ah don't usually use?”

The Conductor paused. “Me little Orange Tornado of Chaos and Manic Laughter?”

The bathroom door behind the Conductor opened up suddenly, causing him to jump and his feathers to puff out a bit.

“Apple of yer eye? Donna lie tae me, Dad. We both ken that's yer train,” Leia said weakly, still wrapped in her baby blanket. 

The Conductor paused, giving himself a moment to slow his heart down. “Well Lass, ye ken Ah do have two eyes,” he replied casually.

“Dad, Ah’m still not sure ye even have any.”

“Well Ah never!” The Conductor put on an offended air. “This is how ye thank the Dad that ordered yer favorite kind of pizza?”

Leia smiled weakly.

The Conductor smiled nervously back. It faded into a concerned frown. “How are ye feeling, Lass?”

Leia looked down. “Drained.”

“Well ye donna have tae talk about anything or do anything ye donna want tae fer the rest of the night, OK?” 

“...Yeah, OK.”

They stood in sullen silence; each waiting for the other to make the next move.

“Dad, Ah’m sorry for-”

“Leia, Ah was-”

The pair stopped. 

“Sorry.”

“Aye, sorry.”

Leia shuffled her feet. “Ah’m gonna get into me pj's. Ah’ll meet ye downstairs.”

“R-right, Lass, Ah’ll get the table set.”

As he watched Leia shut the door to her room, the Conductor felt a sinking feeling deep in his stomach. If he didn't want a repeat of what happened last time Leia had one of these fainting spell and nightmare episodes, he was going to have to, ugh, talk to Grooves about his plan sooner than later. Sure, he was just now formulating the surprise but the sooner he set things in motion, the better. 

Work tomorrow was going to be a nightmare.

 

Neon lights lit up the far side city of the moon in an eerily beautiful cinematic way, painting the various houses and business in an artificial variation of the northern and southern lights down on the planet below. 

The moon penguins had adapted to living on the moon thousands of years ago and one of their best innovations was their lighting systems. It could simulate the effects of sunlight on earth and was used to keep crops and the fish farms healthy as well as creating a shield that could replicate night on earth. This was especially useful considering how long the moon’s days and nights were. 

Which was all well and good but the real issue was the day/night schedule the current leaders had it set to. The farms and hatcheries were safe from sudden changes in the day/night cycle but the political parties loved to argue over what time zone on earth to align the grid to. Which resulted in several cities changing time zones depending on which political party was in power. This was particularly bad on the near side of the moon, where everything seemed to be in a constant state of flux.

Currently, the lighting grid that ran throughout the far side city Grooves lived in was set to one of the major bird cities in the Alpine mountains, which made it one am.

Not that DJ Grooves cared. As much as he hated living in the city on the far side of the moon,even temporarily, at least the rent was cheaper. Plus, he had those wonderful inventions: blackout curtains! And clocks set to the different time zones that mattered to him. Slamming his fist down on his alarm clock, he got up to start his day.

Grooves pulled open his curtains and gazed out at the neon tinted night, a cup of cold coffee from the night before in his hand.

He would put up with all of the inconveniences of living here if it meant his club on the near side and the studio were paid for and his crew taken care of.There were some very talented penguins working for him and he did not want to lose them. Especially if they would give him an edge against that old fashioned tit. 

Grooves let out a deep sigh. It was a shame he’d be losing some of them soon anyway. Ben, Geoff, Kenny G, and Joan were all taking off to pursue jobs outside of the movies and all would be missed. 

Life moves on, doesn’t it? He was not the sort of bird to stand in the way of the dreams of his followers. Losing Joan was going to hit hard, he just knew it. Give them a few more years working on sets and he just knew Joan would be an award winning force to be reckoned with! 

But... Grooves knew that movies weren’t where their passion really was.

Grooves shuttered as another thought crossed his mind. Dealing with Leia would certainly be harder after they left. Joan had a way of calming that terror down that no one else seemed to have mastered.

Downing his day old coffee quickly, Grooves rubbed his eyes. Only a few more months of this before he could move back to the life of luxury on the near side. His nice, time zone stable, life of luxury.

For now, it was time to get ready for another day of shooting. If he was lucky, he’d just miss the _Darling_ Conductor and his ever present rants. One of those a week was just about all any sane bird could put up with without decking him in the beak. No wonder the only birds who stuck around him were either crazy or terrified to death of him.

Once again, his mind went back to Leia and how she had started to cry yesterday. Something was going on there and he didn't like the looks of it. 

It was something Joan had brought to his attention as well. He had always known Leia to be a fearless ball of feathers and teeth; seeing her react so strongly to others getting mad or yelling around or at her; assuming everything was her fault; that was most definitely something new. And very, VERY troubling.

Grooves shook his head. It really wasn't any of his business what was going on with the Conductor or his little adopted fledgling. As long as it didn't spill over into the studio, he wasn't going to get involved with either of them more than he absolutely had to. He was neither Leia’s babysitter or the Conductor's friend.

Pulling the curtains closed, Grooves started to prep for his day. Trying to ignore the negative thoughts building up in the back of his mind, he tackled his morning routine with vigor. Today was going to go fabulous. He wasn’t going to think about jagged beaked loons and filming was going to go smoothly.

After putting the finishing touches on his magnificent ball of luxurious curls, Grooves pulled on his signature coat and strapped on his tall shoes. Time to face whatever the day held. With a dramatic flare, he put on his sunglasses and stepped out into the neon lit night.

 

The Conductor woke with a start. A slice of anchovy pizza slid off the side of his face as he forced himself up into an upright position on the couch. The pizza landed with a greasy thud on the seat cushion. 

The Conductor glared at it; the very existence of it pissing him off. The whole house would reek of _anchovies_ for weeks.

Beside him, Leia was curled in a ball, wrapped in blankets and her favorite stuffed toys, dozing softly on the open pizza box.

Shaking his head, the Conductor got up to move Leia to a slightly better sleep position, shifting her off the greasy cardboard and onto the couch. She stirred slightly before grumbling softly and going back to sleep. 

A gentle smile crossed the Conductor's face as Leia started snoring, a mix between a quiet chirp and a ‘pip’ noise, before he turned his attention to cleaning up and getting ready for the day.

His pocket watch told him it was just after 4 am, plenty of time to get everything cleaned up and ready to head out by 5:30 am. Shame he’d have to wake Leia at 5 but she did need to shower off some of that pizza grease.

Once everything was cleaned up and ready to go, he shook Leia’s shoulder.

“Leia? Lass, it’s time tae wake up.”

Leia’s face twisted into a frown and she curled herself into a even smaller ball.

“Leia, wake up,” the Conductor shook Leia slightly harder.

“No,” Leia smacked his hand away and buried her head in a pillow. 

Rolling his eyes, the Conductor walked over to the kitchen and came back with something in his hands. Pulling back the collar of Leia’s shirt, the Conductor dropped a handful of ice right down the back of Leia’s shirt.

With a shriek, Leia jumped up and started thrashing around. The ice flew everywhere, bouncing off the TV screen and smacking the Conductor, who was cackling.

Leia turned to the Conductor, fire in her eyes. 

“ _DAD!”_ She roared as she launched herself directly at the Conductor’s stomach.

The Conductor was ready, catching her and flipping her upside down. Still cackling, he carried her to the downstairs bathroom. 

“Come on Lass, we’ve got tae get going. Wash up and get ready tae leave.”

“Ye didn’t need tae put ice down my shirt!”

“Well, it was nicer than what Ah was originally gonna do.”

Leia’s eye narrowed. “And what was that?”

“Oh, Ah was just gonna dump ya into a full bath.”

“DAD!”

“Like Ah said,” The Conductor said nonchalantly, “the ice was nicer.”

 

The Conductor’s beaten up car sped down the road to the rail yard. They were running a little behind schedule; Leia had taken extra long in the bathroom as revenge for the ice. The grumpy fledgling pouted in the passenger seat as the Conductor drove in silence. 

Leia was already on edge after yesterday, still unsure what to make of her turbulent mix of emotions running around in her head and gut. The ice stunt really didn’t make her mood any better. Leaning her head against the cool glass, she stared out at dark desert. She felt like she was on the edge of a cliff in her mind and that one more big thing would knock her off into the darkness down below. 

Leia glared at her reflection and growled. She hated feeling this way. 

“Aw come on, Lass, stop pouting. Ah promise ye, today will be a fine day!”

“Ah _sincerely_ doubt it, Dad.”

“Leia, just give today a chance.”

Leia scowled at the window. She would like nothing more to run off today and hide from everyone.

The Conductor sighed.

They finished the drive in silence.

 

DJ Grooves arrived at the studio just as several of his own crew did. A dark plume of smoke rose up from the ground. When he landed, he saw that several of the penguins were gathered around a smoking ship.

“What’s going on here? Did someone’s ship break down?”

“Ah! Boss! Yeah, me old ship is acting up again,” Joan replied from the center of the crowd. “I think something in the engine is acting up. It still flies but I wouldn’t trust it to last long without catching fire or exploding.”

“Then why are you all standing around the ship then?!”

Joan scratched their chin. “I was just tellin these guys to park a ways away from my ship if they knew what was good fer them. I think theys were just leaving but then yous arrived and I had to explain it all overs again. Ops, theres they goes.”

As the other penguins bolted off, Joan turned to look at an annoyed Grooves.

“Oh you’re gonna miss havin me around.”

“Yes I will Darling, but I don’t know if I will miss your sass.”

“Yous kiddin me, right? That’s what yer gonna miss the most ‘nd yous know it.”

Before Grooves could refute their claim, a loud whistle cut through the early morning air, announcing the arrival of the approaching train.

Grooves let his normal flamboyant facade drop. “Oh great, here comes the sapsucker for another day of screaming and blaming bad parenting on me,” he grumbled. “I guess it was too much to hope Leia would have kept him away from the studio today.” 

Joan looked at their boss. It was weird to see him drop his normal act.

“You know, I would have gone for “Jay” as the insult,” they joked to lighten the mood.

“Jay?”

“Yeah, you know, cause it’s a type of bird and an insult.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, where did yous think the ‘jay’ in ‘jaywalking’ came from?”

“Fair. I’ll use that next time.”

“Glad I could help, Boss.”

“Now go put out your ship before it explodes.”

“Right Boss.”

 

Leia stomped through the studio's train station. She wanted to kick or break something so bad.

“Leia, slow down! Les was just messing with ya-” the Conductor called after her, jogging slightly to keep up.

Leia fumed in the kind of angry silence usually only mastered by bitter old folks who sat in rocking chairs on their front porch. Bits of crushed ice still clung to the neck of her sweater.

“Maaaybe Ah shouldn't have told him about the ice trick from this morning…” the Conductor said sheepishly.

Leia spun around. “Oh? YA THINK SO?!” 

The Conductor sighed. “Look, Ah’ll help ye get him back, OK?”

“Can we set something he loves on fire?” Leia asked with anger dripping off each word.

“No Lass, that would be arson. We'll think of something less illegal together.”

Leia pouted. “Ye better promise, otherwise his cookbook and notes will meet an ashy fate.”

“Leia don't destroy other birds’ property.”

“No promises.”

The Conductor pushed open the doors separating the station from the studio. 

“How about just for today then? Let's keep the destruction and screaming minimal.”

Leia glanced at her dad. “Only if YOU promise too! No ranting or yelling or petty insults thrown at Mr. Grooves or any other penguin for the whole day.”

“What!”

“Dad.”

“Ugh, fine. But Ah don't do that nearly as much as everyone says.”

“Well AH don't cause NEARLY as much destruction as everyone says so we’re fair then!”

“Fine.”

“Great.”

 

From across the studio, Grooves and Joan watched the pair of sharp teeth birds snap back and forth at one another while standing in the open doorway.

“What are those twos up to?” Joan asked the world in general.

“Who knows Darling, but if we're lucky, we wouldn't have to find out,” Grooves retorted before taking off in wide strides towards his side of the studio.Unfortunately for him, his platform shoes caused just enough noise to attract The Conductor’s attention.

“Ahpapapa, hold on there ye pe-” the Conductor winced as Leia softly kicked his shins. “Grooves, Ah actually need to speak with you this morning,” he looked down at Leia who glared in return, “er, please?”

Leia gave a small encouraging smile.

Grooves, taken aback more from the “please” than anything else, shook his head. “Gonna have to pass, Darling. Unless it's absolutely urgent to keeping Dead Bird Studio open, I think we should keep our interactions with one another as infrequent as possible, don't you agree?”

“Oh believe me, Ah would like nothing more than to never speak to you again, buuut, Ah really do need a moment of your time.”

“To what? Rant about something else Leia did that was somehow my fault? Or is it another string of insults detailing how you think my movies are inferior? Honestly Darling, I’ve heard your greatest hits and I do not want an encore.”

The Conductor’s eye twitched. “Oh really? Well lucky for you Ah’ve got a whole new spiel to shove down yer-”

“DAD!”

“Tsk tsk, more like a remix of one of your overrated ‘classics’!”

“Oh Ah will show you a remix you inflated sack of-”

With that, the two directors started yelling insults over one another. While an argument between the two was nothing new, seeing both directors go at one another with personal insults and enough anger that both Leia and Joan jumped back was rare. All the stress and resentment from the past few days exploded into a perfect eruption of bile and cheap shots shouted at such a level that shook the dust from the ceiling and caused onlookers to bolt for the doors. This was not a fight to get in the middle of.

“Uhhh, Kid, maybe we should go,” Joan nervously said, grabbing Leia’s arm and tugging her towards the studio’s entrance. 

_At least outside the yelling will be muffled,_ they thought.

Leia, taken back by just how quickly everything went to screaming, allowed herself to be dragged out of the studio and into the parking lot. Once out in the cool morning air, she snapped out of it.

“UUUUGGGGGHHH!!! HE PROMISED!” Leia screamed to the open sky.

“Woah, Kid! We’ve got enough of that going on in there.”

“You donnae get it! He promised me and he cannae even go five minutes. FIVE MINUTES! Without insulting or yelling or- or- BEING A JERK!” Leia was seething. “Ah should wreck something just to get back at him.”

“OK, that’s a bad course of action, Kid. Escalation sure isn’t gonna fix anything.”

“Well, what do Ah do? Talking doesn’t work. Not talking sure doesn’t work. Maybe he’ll learn if half the train goes missing,” Leia grumbled. 

“Yeeeeah, no, that would end badly for everyone involved, Kid, yous especially,” Joan sighed. “Look, Kid… Leia, I don't know what to tell you. Some birds just don't get along and that can be for many reasons. Yer Dad and the Boss, well, their relationship has always been… tense and a lot of that spills over to the rest of us. Well, mostly from your dad. Boss couldn't give two feathers what kind of bird you are as long as you want to work with him. Anyway, my point being, I don't think there is much anyone could do to fix that.”

“If he cared about me, he would try,” Leia grumbled.

“It really don't work that way kid. I know yer only ten and all but try to get your head outta that headspace. Trust me, you’ll be happier.”

“But it's not FAIR! Why does my life get to be dictated by stuff HE doesn't like because some stupid rivalry that he’s freakin won anyway!”

“Hey! Who says he's won? Just because DJ Grooves hasn't won first place yet doesn't mean it’ll never happen, _Kid_.”

“Please, do ye _really_ think Mr. Grooves actually has a chance?”

“Look kid. You are asking for trouble if you keep talkin.”

But Leia had had enough.

“Come on! Everyone knows that the Academy of Motion Pictures will never give the top award to a penguin; they barely put up with Mr. Grooves as is! Face it, if there were other big time directors working, he wouldn’t even get second place! Heck, his movies are so bad he wouldn’t even make it to the bottom ten,” Leia sneered.

“OK you little brat, either you shut your shit spewing beak or you’re gonna find out what happens to prejudice little cockles who don’t know when to clamp their beak shut.”

“Oh? You gonna ban me from yer little club house? Or stop talking tae me altogether? Yer sure not gonna hurt me cause that will just start a whole nother set of problems,” Leia retorted mockingly.

“You know, I’ve had enough of this. You’re goin in time out.” With that, Joan quickly picked up Leia and swung her over their shoulder. They made sure Leia was in no way able to bite or punch before taking off towards their ship.

“H-hey! You can’t do that! PUT ME DOWN!”

“Yeah no, your dad obviously never punishes yous so you’re getting a timeout,” Joan said coldly. “I don’t know what’s going on but the way you’re acting is not OK kid and you need to know that.”

“Ugggggh! PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW JOAN! YOU JERK!”

Ignoring Leia’s yells, Joan trudged over to their ship, unlocked it, and put Leia down in the passenger seat. 

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but, you can come out when you’ve calmed down. I’m gonna leave the window open a bit so you have some air and I’ll check on you in ten minutes OK?”

“You are the actual worst and Ah hope you step on a cactus.” 

“OK, Twenty minutes.”

“-and that your thesis gets rejected so you have to waste even more time working for the losing side of a movie making rivalry.”

“... I’m gonna go before I decide to leave you in there all day.”

With that, Joan stomped off and Leia was left alone in the battered ship. Instantly, Leia tried to get the doors open, only to find Joan had installed some very secure child locks on the doors. 

“It’s almost like they were expecting to lock me in here at some point,” Leia grumbled. “They could at least turned on the AC or somethin.”

Slouching back in the seat, Leia kicked the dashboard several times. She was pissed at everything. How dare Joan treat her like a little kid! How dare Dad break his promise so fast! All she had wanted to do was look at the full moon and study space. Why was that such a big freaking deal?! Why did Dad have to hate _everything_ related to Mr. Grooves outside of movies? She was never going to make it to the moon, much less space now.

She looked over at the driver's side. A dangerous thought began to bloom in her mind.

Well, she was in a spaceship now. True, she didn't have the keys buuuuut knowing Joan, there was bound to be an owner's manual somewhere in the vehicle.

Leia quickly searched the glove compartment and seat cushions for the manual. She triumphantly found it buried between the backseat cushions. Grinning maniacally, she skimmed the book for the information she needed to hot wire the ship.

Like Mr. Grooves told her, there's nothing wrong with following your passion.

 

Joan stomped off quite a ways from their ship before stopping to calm down. They liked Leia, as energetic and chaotic as she could be, but egads was she a little shit when riled up. A lot of that must have come from the Conductor, no doubt.Though it didn't help that everyone was in a foul mood today; Joan included.

Ship trouble doesn't help anyone's mood but add on a massive fight between your boss and his rival and the rival’s kid acting up and you have a recipe for a day where the hard drinks should start at 10am and no later.

Regrettably, it was only 7am.

“Deep breaths, Joan, deep breaths.”

There was a loud bang behind them as an old, barely hanging on to life engine spurred to life.

Joan jumped and spun around to see their ship jump sixty feet straight up in the air, only to stop and hover for a bit before letting out another loud bang and jumping up another ten feet. Black smoke started to pour out from underneath the hood; growing thicker with each proceeding bang.

“LEIA!”

 

Back inside the studio, the fight had gone from petty personal attacks to a full on physical fight. With some insults mixed in.

Grooves currently had the upper hand by trapping the Conductor in a headlock but the Conductor was fighting back quite well with some very well placed kicks. 

“Will you- OOF-! just give in you overgrown pheasant!”

“Oooh, you’d like that wouldn't ye ya over inflated holiday decoration! Ack!” The Conductor clawed at Grooves’s arms, trying to get free from the headlock.

“I swear you will leave me and my crew alone for the rest of the movie season or I'll-!!!!!” Grooves was cut off as the Conductor's heel met his shin and Grooves’s grip loosened just enough that the Conductor could slip out and roll away.

“Look, DJ Peck Neck, Ah would gladly *gasp* if you’d-” The Conductor panted as he tried to catch his breath. “*Weeze* If you’d just listen tae my request!”

“Why on earth, moon or otherwise would _I_ ever even indulge in the idea of helping you with a request? Every single interaction I’ve had with you since I've met you has you been insulting me, blaming me, ranting at me or some other variation. And for what? The fact that I had the _same_ misfortune as you, that I happened to be duped by the same real estate agent as you? Well it's either that or some other personal problem of yours because I, for the life of me, have no idea what unforgivable action I did to be treated this way by _you._ SO forgive me if I don't feel very charitable to **you**!”

Grooves stood over the Conductor, his fists clenched and his chest rising and falling heavily.

The Conductor stared at him in silence; his normal string of insults dying on his tongue. For once, the constant angry chatter of his brain was dead quiet.

“Yer right, Ah have no right tae be asking a favor from ye,” the Conductor replied quietly. “Ah would rather not ask at all but, honestly, Ah think Leia would only really listen tae you-”

“BOSS!” The studio doors crashed open as a panicking Joan charged threw them open.

“Joan, what’s wrong?!” Grooves turned his attention to the panicking penguin.

“Waaait, aren’t the studio doors automatic sliding doors…” The Conductor quietly commented. 

Grooves stopped and slowly turned. “Really, Darling?”

“What? If one of your crew busted the doors-”

Joan, already seeing where this was going, took a deep breath.

“LEIA’S IN DANGER!” They yelled at the top of their lungs.

The two directors froze. 

“WHAT?!”

 

Several alarms were screaming and bright warning lights were blinking everywhere. Smoke was starting to fill the cab and Leia couldn’t get the controls to do anything she wanted. 

Choking on the smoke, Leia tried to get one of the doors open. Even if she couldn’t fly to the ground, at least the smoke would drain out of the cab. The doors wouldn’t budge.

“Peck.”

A deep rumbling came from the engine. A loud bang and the smoke grew thicker. 

“Double peck.”

Panicking, Leia tried skimming through the owner’s manual. There had to be some sort of emergency ejection button or something! Or an auto unlock feature! Anything to help her get out of this death trap!

 

The trio rushed out of the studio. 

“Up there!” Joan yelled, rather pointlessly as it turned out as the ship had left a very distinct smoke trail.

“Wha-! HOW DID MY LASS GET STUCK IN A SPACESHIP?!”

“Not the time for that! Boss, I need yer ship!”

“Right.” 

Without a second’s hesitation, Grooves took off towards his ship. The Conductor, still a bit shocked, took off after him.

“Wait, what are ye planning on doing? And how did-”

“Darling, Leia is a good hundred feet in the air, stuck in a ship that’s pretty close to exploding and you want to delay a rescue attempt by asking a bunch of questions?”

“... Ah’m going too then.”

“ _Conductor_ -”

“Hey Boss, ticking clock remember?”

“Fine, get in.”

With a press of a button, the doors opened and Grooves handed Joan the keys.

“Joan, I want you to fly us as close to your ship as possible and put us in hover. I’ve got experience with wing walking so it’s a safer bet for me to try and get over to your ship.”

“Right Boss.”

With that, they all piled into the ship and took off. 

 

Nothing was working! The auto unlock was busted, the seat ejection button was fried by whatever was screwing up the engine and now the windows were too hot to even touch. This was it. She was going to die.

Leia pulled the neck of her sweater up over her beak to try and breath easier but even then it was still painful. Tears started to form. This was all her own fault and the last things she had said were all mean. 

Rolling into a ball, Leia waited for death. The fiery ship was her tomb chorus of shrill beeps and loud bangs from the engine was her dirge. 

“-ia!”

Leia’s ears perked up. A faint voice could barely be heard over the death hymn. A small flicker of hope ignited in her chest. Unfolding herself, she looked out the window and through the smoky veil, she caught a glimpse of a familiar red and blue shape.

“Mr. Grooves!”

 

Balancing carefully on the fins of his ship, Grooves looked over the smoking ship. Several areas were cherry red from heat and the cab looked filled with smoke. 

“This doesn’t look good,” he muttered to himself as he scanned for any signs of Leia. 

Pulling out Joan’s keys, he tried to unlock the doors and have them auto open, not fully expecting it to work. There was a pathetic squeaking noise from the vehicle but otherwise nothing moved.

“Great.”

“Ye have any other plans?” The Conductor’s voice called out from behind him. Grooves could feel the weight on the wings shift and adjusted his own to balance it.

“Get back in the ship, Conductor,” he replied without turning around.

“Ah’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?”

“GET BACK-”

There was a bang and the ship shot up another thirty feet.

“HECK!”

“PECK!”

“Grooves! Throw me!”

“Wait, what?”

“Get your ship closer and throw me at the windshield. Ah’ve got an idea!”

Grooves looked at him flabbergasted. “Are you sure, Darling?”

“Wait a sec!” The Conductor ducked back into the ship.

Just as Grooves corrected his balance once again, the Conductor popped back out with one of Grooves’s extra pair of platform shoes. Strapping them onto his feet, he made his way over to Grooves carefully. He started to stumble as Joan started to bring the ship up to the same height as the burning ship.

Grooves caught him before he fell. “What are you planning, Darling?”

“Ah’m gonna kick a hole in that window.”

“... That’s ridiculous Darling.”

“You have a better idea?”

Grooves looked over at the burning ship. He could barely make out the shape of Leia through the smoke. He grimaced.

“No.”

“Look on the bright side Grooves, if this fails, you’ll have the studio tae yourself.”

Grooves grabbed both of the Conductor’s arms, preparing to spin him before launching him at the car. “That’s not really the way I want to get the studio, Darling.”

“Heh, Ah’m counting on that.”

With that, Grooves spun around once to gain momentum before launching the Conductor feet first at the window closest to them.

The Conductor put as much force as he could into the kick against the window and managed to get one of the shoes through the pane of glass.

Leia jumped back as the hot glass exploded inward. The red shoe, now sticking in the window, started to wiggle back and forth until it popped out.

“Leia!”

“D-DAD!” 

“Hold on Lass, Ah’m gonna make this hole a little bigger.”

“D-ddad! The glass is hot! Don’t-”

“Then Ah’d move back, Lass!”

With that, the Conductor used the shoe to knock out the rest of the window. Dropping the shoe, now melting in places, on the seat, he extended his hand out to Leia.

“Come on Lass. Ah donna ken how long this ship will last before it explodes.”

Leia grabbed onto his arm and saw him wince as he pulled her through the window. Several parts of his suit were burned and she could see some blood seeping thru. It was the same arm she bit yesterday. She didn’t say anything, instead, clinging to her dad’s body as tightly as she could.

“OK Lass, here’s the terrifying part,” he commented, once he had gotten Leia out of the cockpit. Standing on the wing with only one foot, as it was the one with the other platform shoe, and grabbing onto the broken frame of the window, the Conductor looked over at Grooves, who was still standing on the outside of his ship. 

“So, ye see Grooves over there? We’re gonna have tae jump and he’s gonna catch us, OK? You need tae hold on as tight as ye can tae me. Understand?”

“Y-yeah Dad.”

“Good ready-”

BANG.

The ship shot up another ten feet and sent the unprepared duo flying off the edge. The wing banged the Conductor on the side of the head as he shot past, knocking him clean out.

“DAD!” Leia screamed as the two of them plummeted down. “No no no! Come on, DAD!”

She shook the Conductor, trying to wake him up to no avail. 

The wind whipped past them as they fell. The ship had only gone up around two hundred feet but that was still high enough that landing on the hard asphalt wasn’t going to end pretty.

Leia closed her eyes and hugged her dad tightly. “Ah’m sorry for everything, Dad…”

Flippers wrapped around both of the falling birds’ bodies and brought them close to a soft chest.

Leia opened her eyes to see Grooves cradling both of them.

He angled his fall towards the wing of the ship closely following his decent. Touching down on the wing just long enough to change the direction of his momentum, he launched them all back up into the air.

Confused by this, Leia looked down to see just how close they and the ship had been to the ground. 

Too close.

The ship below them swung around, scraping the bottom of the ship on the ground, releasing a shower of sparks, before heading back up to catch them at the top of Grooves’s jump. 

Grooves landed with grace on the wing, shifting his weight carefully as he made his way to the cockpit. Joan carefully put the ship in hover and opened the door to help.

“Yous OK Boss?” 

“Oh, I'm fine, Darling. It's been a while since I've pulled a stunt like that but it was nothing I couldn't handle.”

“J-Joan!” Leia cried, struggling to get out of Grooves’s arms to hug the smaller penguin and apologize.

“Hey! None of that while we're still in the air!” Grooves snapped as he had to readjust his balance so he wouldn't drop the unconscious Conductor.

“Right Boss. Buckle in so I can land this thing.”

 

Once safely on the ground, the group piled out of the ship. Grooves, carrying the Conductor since Leia was now firmly attached to his set designer and sobbing apologies, looked up at the malfunctioning ship still smoking in the sky. In his arms, the jagged beak bird stirred.

“Uuuggghh, wha? Grooves?”

“Good Morning Darling! Enjoy your nap?”

“Ngh, me head. Why are you carrying me?”

“Well, darling, I saved your tail feathers from a rather unflattering end as parking lot carrion after you unceremoniously smacked your head on the ship.”

“What about Leia?”

“She’s attached to my set designer sobbing and begging for forgiveness.”

“Right, _**them**_.”

“Darling, may I remind you that not only was Joan essential to saving the little pip squeak, they also helped save your life as well. **And if you do anything to make their life harder in anyway, I will respond in kind.** ”

The two birds glared at one another before the Conductor broke off eye contact. 

“Fine. And why are you still carrying me?” The Conductor snapped.

“You’re right, Darling.”

Grooves dropped the Conductor; the yellow bird landing hard on the ground with a squawk.

“...Ok, Ah probably deserved that.”

“Probably?”

The Conductor stood up, staggering a bit as he did; his head spinning.

Unthinking, Grooves offered a hand.

Looking at the hand like it’d bite him, the Conductor hesitated. The world began to spin again and he took the offered hand.

“...yeah, Ah deserved that.”

Grooves sighed and helped steady him.

Leaning on Grooves for support, the two birds made their way towards the studio in silence, the loud explosions from the ship now miles above them and the sobbing apologies from Leia filling the awkward silence between the two.

“...Thank you, Grooves.”

Grooves stopped in surprise. “What, Darling?”

“Ugh, donna make me say it again,” the Conductor muttered, his head turned away from the penguin.

“Did you just _thank_ me?”

“Yer gonna make a big deal out of this aren’t ye?”

“Can you blame me? You saying anything other than an insult doesn’t happen more than once a decade!” 

“Ye saved me and my lass’s lives! What else am Ah suppose tae say!?” The Conductor snapped back. “Heck! Ye didnae even hesitate when yer penguin asked for yer ship tae save Leia; ye even put yer life on the line with nae a second thought tae help! If it weren’t for you, Leia would be-”

The Conductor’s shoulder’s sunk. He let out a deep sigh. “Ah can see why Leia trust ye more than me.”

“Conductor, I seriously doubt that is true.”

“Really? Didya know Leia’s been skipping school for the past few weeks because a teacher’s been bullying her?”

“Well, yes, but I’m pretty sure that was common knowledge at this point. She complained about it enough.”

“Yeah, Ah didn’t till yesterday when the teacher and the principal showed up unannounced. Leia got in a yelling match with the peck neck in the middle of the living room.”

“Wait, really?!”

“Heh, yeah. Ah’m not sending her back tae that mismanaged mess of a school for sure.”

The two stood in silence.

“She trusts ye and honestly, she gets along with you and yer penguins better than she ever did with the express owls. You were right before, Ah have no reason tae expect yer help. So, thank you. For saving her. And for helping her when Ah couldn’t.”

Grooves stared at the smaller bird. He had never heard the Conductor say anything that sincere before. God, that must have hurt his massive ego to say.

“You’re welcome, Conductor.” Grooves paused. “That favor you were asking about, that was for Leia, wasn’t it?”

“... yeah.”

“Figures as much.”

“Was it really that obvious?”

“You do tend to act slightly less selfish when she’s involved.” Grooves shook his head. “Though I’m afraid unless the favor is something relatively simple, I will still have to decline.”

“What, you and yer penguins don’t have access tae a decent selection of high power telescopes and star maps on the moon? And Ah thought you were a penguin with influence.”

“Oh? Decided to change your mind on restricting what Leia is allowed to like?”

fwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“She and Ah had a… conversation last night and Ah may have been a wee too stubborn on the space point. And the penguin point.”

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Conversation or screaming match?”

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“...you know, Ah can always reverse my stance-”

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Wait, do you hear tha-”

**KABOOM**

The fiery ship landed with a thundering explosion on Groove’s empty ship. The resulting shock wave of the explosion sent Grooves and the Conductor flying forward. Bits of debris showered the pavement around them.

“MY SHIP!” Yelled Grooves. 

“Ow ow ow,” grumbled the Conductor as bits of asphalt and ship bounced off his head. 

Leia and Joan, who had been far enough back to avoid the blast ran back to the two directors to drag them to safety. 

 

“OK,” remarked Joan once the fire department had been called and everyone was safely inside the studio, “Who wants a stiff drink?”

“You ken, Ah would love one.”

“OK, who other than the bird with the concussion wants a stiff drink?”

“Joan, it’s only,” Grooves checked his watch, “7:30 am.”

“And?”

“... Give me a double.”

“Yes Sir, Boss!”

 

A week had passed. Grooves, now lacking a means to get to and from the moon, was staying, surprisingly, in one of the better rooms on the Conductor’s train. While both the directors had initially been against it, Leia and Joan had pointed out it was significantly cheaper than paying for a hotel and then catching a taxi to work each day and this way, the two of them could work on dealing with one another in less destructive ways. And, as Leia pointed out, since the Conductor was legally responsible for her and her actions since she was still a minor, he would be responsible for replacing Grooves and Joan’s ships, this was a good way to avoid any additional potential costs.

Staying in the studio had been mentioned several times but was shot down when the Conductor pointed out that they were already in trouble for several workplace violations and were due for an inspection any day. And neither of them could afford any more fines.

So now Grooves found himself sitting on the bench on the back of the train, looking out at the fading sunset. Beside him, Joan had a book on astronomy open and was skimming the index for a list of stars and far off planets you could see at dusk. Leia was excitedly setting up an old telescope Joan had dug out from storage in front of them, chattering on about how awesome this was going to be. 

“Isn’t this gonna be great, Mr. Grooves!” Leia smiled at the large penguin.

“I’m sure it will be, Darling. It’s been a nice change of pace to see the stars from down here for a change. Though you really can’t beat the view from the moon.”

“Ooo! Ah bet! Ah should get Dad tae take me sometime!”

“Heh, please give me plenty of warning when you do, Darling. I’ll be sure to prepare the fireworks.”

“Tae welcome us or tae send us off, Grooves?” Retorted the Conductor as he pushed open the door with his shoulder. “Ah’ve seen enough of yer movies tae know you’ve managed to weaponize those things.”

“Only by accident, I swear.”

“Right,” the Conductor remarked dryly as he carefully maneuvered a small dining cart through the door.

“Alright Lass, Grooves and Joans, hot chocolate’s up. Get it while it’s hot cause Ah’m not going back there tae get more.”

“Yessss, hot chocolate!” Leia bolted to the little cart.

Grooves raised an eyebrow. “Delivering hot chocolate now?”

The Conductor shrugged. “Take it or leave it, Grooves.”

Chuckling, Grooves helped himself to a cup as the Conductor sulked past to claim a seat on the bench.

“Dad Dad Dad!” Leia yelled, taking a running jump into the Conductor’s lap and getting hot chocolate everywhere. “Look! It’s the first far off planet!”

She pointed out to a small pale red star near the horizon. “We use to think it was a star but then Rockhopper’s scientists were tasked with mapping the stars from the moon and the earth and they discovered that-”

The Conductor laid back and let Leia ramble on about the discovery of the star and other bits of information. She was cut off as Joan called her over to the telescope. Giggling with glee, she bounded off his lap to gaze at the stars. 

The Conductor smiled, he hadn’t seen her this happy in a while. 

The bench shifted as Grooves sat down next to him. The penguin offered a cup of hot chocolate as a silent sign of truce. Rolling his eyes, though no one could tell, he accepted it. 

Sitting in silence, the directors watched the sunset and the stars flood the sky, the happy chatter of Leia and Joan discussing the stars and space washing over them. For once, even though the two of them still wanted very little to do with one another, they let the moment be.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find the start of this whole rather strange experiment here:  
> https://birb-and-bairn.tumblr.com/page/25  
> I will update this when I finally have a comic site set up.


End file.
